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What Are the Warning Signs of Grooming a Child for Sexual Abuse?

Search Results for: grooming

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“Sexual grooming” of a child is a phrase that has entered more people’s consciousness in recent years with some high-profile sexual abuse cases covered in the media.

However, this behavior is more common than most people care to think. The disturbing facts are that one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they enter adulthood. Half of these children at least are first groomed by the abuser.

Grooming can happen right before your nose if you are not aware of the warning signs. Abusers are often well-practiced at their techniques to avoid detection. Greater awareness of the types of behavior that constitutes grooming a child is the first step to helping prevent it.

So, here we take a look at the typical warning signs to be on the lookout for with children and the adults charged with caring for them.

What are the “red flags” with grooming a child?

Grooming is a slow but deliberate process, which can make it hard to detect. That is the idea, of course – so that the victim (and often the parents) believe that a genuine and innocent friendship has formed.

An abuser wants to gain trust with their victim as a means to get close and intimate with the child.

So, grooming often follows a similar pattern of behavior:

  1. Target the victim: the selection of victim is often based upon accessibility and vulnerability, e.g., low self-esteem, broken family life, etc.
  2. Develop trust and secrecy: gifts, attention, and sharing of secrets are often used as ways to develop a relationship and earn the trust of victims – and sometimes the primary caregiver(s) too.
  3. Isolate the victim: abusers will seek opportunities to spend time alone and initiate contact with the victim, physically and emotionally isolating them. This allows the trust to build and the training or “grooming” behavior to continue.
  4. Build desensitization and sexualize the relationship: sexual abuse often starts with seemingly innocent behavior like hugging. massaging or tickling. Over time, the boundaries will be tested and it escalates to increasingly more “daring” behavior like discussing sexual topics, playing sexual games or sharing inappropriate images.
  5. Attempted “normalization” of behavior: abusers often take steps to make their behavior (sleepovers and showering together, for instance) seem normal and necessary.
  6. Maintaining control: intimidation tactics, fear, and invoking sympathy may be used for the abuser to retain the upper hand and control the situation.

Recognizing any of these steps in a non-familial adult-child relationship should be a red flag. Unfortunately, abusers are often smart and quite subtle with their behavior and are skilled at avoiding detection.

Other potential signs of grooming for abuse

We’ve already covered many of the major signs. However, you should also be on the lookout for the following:

  • Constant flattering and attention-giving to a child who otherwise seldom gets praise
  • An adult (other than the parent) who becomes the sole provider of rides, a place to stay, sympathy, outings, etc.
  • Discussion of inappropriate topics
  • Providing cigarettes, alcohol, or other illegal substances for a child
  • Constantly sending secretive texts/emails, etc.
  • Private communication through social media
  • An adult who prefers the company of children to adults
  • Frequent offers of help to primary caregivers to gain time alone with the victim

Grooming of those closest to the victim

Grooming behavior may extend beyond the intended victim. Often, an abuser is aware that their actions may be called into question by protective parents and other members of the community so they will try to groom the family members and those whose suspicions may be roused.

Creating an aura of trust and respectability is all part of the grooming process because it helps to “normalize” the behavior of the abuser in other adults’ minds.

Often, abusers seem charming and friendly and “fit in” well with the local community on the surface. It reduces suspicion and may intimidate the victim into remaining silent about what’s happening.

This is why abusers are often people close to the family or in a position of trust and authority with the family.

The warning signs must be recognized and heeded if we want to reduce the risk of sexual abuse of children occurring.

Online grooming of children

Like with most things in life, grooming has moved online. In fact, the online world often facilitates grooming. Abusers create fake profiles and often pose as children or friends to win trust with victims.

Abuse may either occur online, using sexual imagery or stalking individuals – or move offline with meetings arranged between the abuser and the victim.

Parents need to monitor time online not only with younger children but with teenagers, who are particularly vulnerable to sexual abuse.

How can you prevent sexual abuse and what should you do if it occurs?

The best approach to sexual abuse and grooming is prevention. Educate your children about risks and what the normal personal “boundaries” are and what to do if someone touches or speaks to them inappropriately. Teach them about the online dangers of abuse too.

Most people who interact with our children are well-intentioned and trustworthy and would never dream of harming a child. We shouldn’t turn everyone we meet into a potential abuser in our children’s minds.

Unfortunately, the exceptions to the rule can go undetected and may be given a free rein to practice their abusive behavior. By educating our children about acceptable boundaries and recognizing the early warning signs of grooming, everyone in the community is better prepared to prevent it.

Rest assured, if you contact the lawyers at Andreozzi & Foote with information on a case involving child sexual abuse, all the information provided will be treated confidentially, including your identity. Start with a free and confidential consultation.

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It is a concerning fact that many sexual predators continue to get away with what they do for years on end without being detected.

This is a great surprise to many people and it is generally because of “grooming”. The grooming process is not only intended to con children into obedience to their abuser but also to make the disclosure of the abuse less likely and/or less believable. On many occasions, the victim’s parents are “groomed” as well as the victim.

Child abusers are often experts at covering their tracks. So, to help prevent abuse, we need to raise awareness of the grooming process so that more adults and children understand the strategies used.

Following are some ways to identify grooming tendencies so that you can raise the alarm early on if things don’t seem right.

Why do abusers groom their victims?

One of the main reasons why the grooming process is so difficult to detect for parents is that it works incrementally. It is designed that way. Groomers are smart manipulators and skilled at covering their tracks.

Sexual predators aim to get what they want at all costs, gradually developing fear, isolation, power, and silence in victims. They methodically build trust with a child and the adults around them to gain increased access and time alone with their prey.

From the very first meeting, a groomer may be preparing a victim for abuse using this tried and tested pattern of behavior.

Parents are faced with the difficult task of trying to recognize this pattern and also the behavioral traits of their child.

How can you recognize the grooming process when it is in play?

There is no one set “grooming process” but most strategies used by sexual predators have similar characteristics — and virtually all have the end goal of abuse with little regard for the victim.

Typically, we see the following five phases in grooming a child:

Targeting prey

The predator stalks and assesses prey in playgrounds, malls, schools, or wherever they are available in numbers, seeking vulnerabilities like unpopularity, physical or mental disabilities, single-parent families, low self-esteem, or emotional neediness. They may also assess opportunities where these vulnerable children are unsupervised.

Earning trust by fulfilling a need

After gathering information about the prey, the predator will seek to earn trust by providing something that fulfills a need, such as a ride home when parents are unavailable, a place on the sports team or attention, compliments and gifts that they do not normally receive. In doing so, the abuser demonstrates “being there” in a time of need and the child may start to rely on the predator for certain things.

Increasingly isolating the victim and eroding standard boundaries

Once the relationship with the victim (and parents) appears “normal”, the abuser will seek ways to spend more time with the child alone, such as with special trips or even sleepovers. The parents may let down their guard and allow activities that might normally be off-limits.

Sexualizing the relationship

When the abuser is alone with the victim, he (or she) will make a move on the prey, maybe testing the water first by hugging, tickling, making a joke or with playful advances that can be laughed off. The predator may use a child’s natural curiosity or sense of fun in this regard. Some may pretend to accidentally touch the child inappropriately or brush up against them.

Maintaining control

After the first incidents of abuse, the predator will try to normalize their inappropriate advances, pretending that touching is normal. He (or she) will try to maintain control and secrecy, often dropping the soft approach for verbal or physical threats if the child tells anyone. This use of fear allows the predator to escalate the abuse.

Remember, skilled predators look for any advantage to increasing their chances of successfully abusing children without getting caught. So, as well as gaining access to their prey, they need to cover their tracks and take actions to reduce the likelihood of disclosure or the children being believed if they do speak up.

Who is a typical “groomer”?

Many predators are charming and act reassuringly to the family of the victim. Few are the archetypal “creeps” we envisage. Parents are often genuinely stunned when they find out the truth years later. But many also think back and say “well, that did seem strange at the time but he seemed so likeable and trustworthy”.

This suggests that there are always warning signs that we should be cognizant of — not just parents but all adults who frequently spend time around children.

It is challenging to spot a groomer from appearances and behavior alone. Predators come from all races, occupations, and relationships with the child although the overwhelming majority tend to be male.

They prey on both boys and girls and many tend to work in professions with ready access to vulnerable people, such as schools, care centers, youth organizations, religious organizations, and so on.

We’ve all heard of many disturbing sexual abuse cases in institutions that most Americans used to consider among the most upstanding in the country, such as the Boy Scouts of America and the Catholic Church.

We have learnt in recent years that anyone in any walk of life can be deceitful enough to become a groomer if they take a wrong turn in life. That’s why we need to be on the lookout for the danger signs.

What can you do to prevent your child from becoming an abuse victim?

Without living in a state of constant paranoia, parents can and should take some sensible measures to protect children from abuse.

Most importantly, spending time with and talking to your children regularly will help them trust and confide in you and help you recognize any worrying personality changes.

Other measures include:

Educating them as early as possible

Children must be made aware (in age-appropriate language) of their ‘private’ parts, the different types of touching, what their personal boundaries are and what to do if someone crosses the line. A predator is much less likely to continue their actions if they find out early on that they might be caught.

Insisting on maximizing supervision:

There is rarely a need for children to spend time alone with an adult other than their family members. On school trips, insist that more than one adult is present with the children at all times and host sleepovers at your house rather than elsewhere.

Know your child’s supervisors

Parents should meet and get to know their child’s teachers, coaches, youth group leaders, friends’ parents/caregivers, and any other adults who regularly spend time with their child. Don’t be afraid to make unannounced visits at times to check up on your child’s wellbeing.

Check the Sex Offenders list

With Megan’s Law enacted in all 50 states, you can use online databases to locate known sex offenders near your home or school.

You also need to educate yourself about grooming— and you’ve taken the first step by reading this blog post.

Becoming more knowledgeable about the grooming process, recognizing the warning signs early on and educating your children about abuse can help protect them from sexual predators.

If you have concerns over a child being groomed, the child sexual abuse lawyers at Andreozzi & Foote, PC offer a free and confidential consultation.

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Most people have a hard time thinking or talking about child sexual abuse. Simply put, child sexual abuse is one of parent’s greatest fears. But, in order to prevent it from happening, we must all think, talk, and take action about it.

Sexual grooming is a deliberate process by which an offender gradually cultivates a relationship with a victim in secrecy. Through grooming, which can happen online or in-person, the abuser builds trust with the targeted victim to lay the groundwork for future child sexual abuse.

An abuser will show special favor to a child in order to gain their trust, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught.

In some situations, an abuser may groom the victim’s family or friends, and even whole communities, to gain more access to the child or hide their actions.

Predators are often well-practiced at their techniques to avoid detection.

Learning more about the types of behavior that constitute sexual grooming can help you spot signs and learn how to prevent grooming and child sexual abuse from happening at all.

Stages Of Sexual Grooming

In order to prevent child sexual abuse from happening, the process of sexual grooming must be understood in detail. Although there are different types of sexual grooming, there is a similar pattern of behavior that many abusers follow:

1. Targeting The Victim

Perpetrators often target and exploit a victim’s perceived vulnerabilities, including isolation, neglect, a chaotic family life or lack of parental oversight. However, children living in nurturing environments may also be targeted by abusers.

2. Gaining The Victim’s Trust

Abusers work to gain the victim’s trust by using tactics such as flattery, attention, sharing of secrets, gift giving, and meeting other basic needs. Tactics may also include increased attention and affection towards the targeted child.

3. Gaining The Trust Of The Victim’s Family

To gain further access to the victim and lower suspicion, perpetrators will try to gain the trust of the victim’s family, caregivers, or friends.

4. Gaining Access And Isolating The Victim

Abusers uses physical and emotional isolation tactics to reinforce the relationship with the child by creating situations in which they are alone together, including one-on-one coaching, “special trips,” or telling the child that no one cares for them the way they do.

5. Sexualizing The Relationship

Once emotional dependence and trust have been built, the perpetrator begins to sexualize the relationship. This often starts with seemingly innocent behavior such as hugging, massaging, or tickling to desensitize the victim. Over time, the boundaries will be tested. For example, an abuser may share sexually explicit content, or discuss sexual actions or behaviors with the victim.

6. Maintaining Control And Concealing The Abuse

Once sexual abuse is occurring, abusers commonly use secrecy, blame, or threats to maintain control of the relationship and ensure that the victim does not talk to others about the abuse.

Examples Of Grooming Behaviors

Grooming is a slow but deliberate process that can take place in a matter of minutes, over one conversation, or over long periods of time, which can make it difficult to detect. The key to preventing sexual grooming is to keep an eye out for predatory behavior such as the following:

Giving attention to a child

  • Paying special attention or preference to a child
  • Giving a child gifts
  • Offering special privileges to a child
  • Taking a child on a trip
  • Communicating with a child privately online

Breaking boundaries with a child

  • Bathing a child
  • Entering the room where a child is undressing or using the restroom
  • Touching a child in seemingly harmless ways, such as tickling, wrestling, or hugging

Engaging in sexually oriented behavior with a child

  • Discussing sexually explicit information with a child
  • Telling sexually explicit jokes with a child
  • Showing a child sexually explicit content

Online Sexual Grooming

Many perpetrators use the internet to groom their victims. Basically, the goal is to create trust and then quickly or slowly exploit that trust. A secondary goal is to use shame and fear to make sure the child stays quiet about how they’ve been exploited.

Common online platforms used by abusers for grooming include:

  • Social media networks
  • E-mail
  • Texting or messaging apps, such as WhatsApp
  • Online forums or chat rooms
  • Text, voice, or chat features in video games

Abusers often exploit the anonymity that technology offers. They can easily hide behind an unknown phone number, an e-mail address, an avatar, or an online profile.

Often, they create fake profiles and pose as somebody younger, of a different gender and/or sexual orientation in order to befriend the victim and gain their trust.

Signs Of Grooming

It can be difficult to tell if a child is being groomed – the signs aren’t always obvious and may be hidden. However, you may notice signs of grooming in the victim themselves, including the following:

  • Secrecy about what they are doing and whom they are doing it with – whether online or in person
  • Having a relationship or friendship with an older person
  • Having money or new things that they can’t or won’t explain
  • Underage drinking or drug use
  • Experiencing emotional changes, such as becoming more withdrawn or distressed
  • More time spent outside the home

Long-Term Effects Of Grooming

The impact of grooming can last a lifetime, no matter whether it happened in person, online or both. Some common effects of sexual grooming include:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Dissociation
  • Sleeping difficulties
  • Problems with sex
  • Self-harm
  • Eating disorders
  • Suicidal thoughts

How To Prevent Grooming

Understanding sexual grooming is an important first step to prevent child sexual abuse. However, there are active steps to take to keep a child safe from sexual grooming.

  • Talk to your child about consent and staying safe. Teaching children about healthy relationships and staying safe online can help prevent child sexual abuse.
  • Talk to your child about keeping secrets. Explaining that responsible individuals will not ask a child to keep secrets from their parents can help children understand healthy boundaries in relationships.
  • Actively listen to your child. Asking questions and avoiding judgemental comments can help create a safe environment in which your child feels more comfortable coming to you with things they are worried about or ashamed of.
  • Be selective about the information you share related to your child. Being mindful of what you share on social media about your child’s life limits the information that predators can use for their own gain.

Get Help From Our Skilled And Experienced Child Sexual Abuse Injury Attorneys

With an established history of successfully advocating on behalf of survivors of sexual abuse, Andreozzi & Foote, PC offers you the resources of a highly-reputable, trusted law firm that is dedicated to protecting your right to compensation after injury caused by the harmful intentions and negligence of other parties.

We serve clients across the state of Pennsylvania and the rest of the United States.

If you or a loved one has been wronged, call us toll free at 866-311-8640 or contact us online to schedule a confidential consultation to discuss your case.

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Most people have a hard time thinking or talking about child sexual abuse. Simply put, child sexual abuse is one of parent’s greatest fears. But, in order to prevent it from happening, we must all think, talk, and take action about it.

Sexual grooming is a deliberate process by which an offender gradually cultivates a relationship with a victim in secrecy. Through grooming, which can happen online or in-person, the abuser builds trust with the targeted victim to lay the groundwork for future child sexual abuse.

An abuser will show special favor to a child in order to gain their trust, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught.

In some situations, an abuser may groom the victim’s family or friends, and even whole communities, to gain more access to the child or hide their actions.

Predators are often well-practiced at their techniques to avoid detection.

Learning more about the types of behavior that constitute sexual grooming can help you spot signs and learn how to prevent grooming and child sexual abuse from happening at all.

Stages of sexual grooming

In order to prevent child sexual abuse from happening, the process of sexual grooming must be understood in detail. Although there are different types of sexual grooming, there is a similar pattern of behavior that many abusers follow:

  1. Targeting the victim

Perpetrators often target and exploit a victim’s perceived vulnerabilities, including isolation, neglect, a chaotic family life or lack of parental oversight. However, children living in nurturing environments may also be targeted by abusers.

  1. Gaining the victim’s trust

Abusers work to gain the victim’s trust by using tactics such as flattery, attention, sharing of secrets, gift giving, and meeting other basic needs. Tactics may also include increased attention and affection towards the targeted child.

  1. Gaining the trust of the victim’s family

To gain further access to the victim and lower suspicion, perpetrators will try to gain the trust of the victim’s family, caregivers, or friends.

  1. Gaining access and isolating the victim

Abusers uses physical and emotional isolation tactics to reinforce the relationship with the child by creating situations in which they are alone together, including one-on-one coaching, “special trips,” or telling the child that no one cares for them the way they do.

  1. Sexualizing the relationship

Once emotional dependence and trust have been built, the perpetrator begins to sexualize the relationship. This often starts with seemingly innocent behavior such as hugging, massaging, or tickling to desensitize the victim. Over time, the boundaries will be tested. For example, an abuser may share sexually explicit content, or discuss sexual actions or behaviors with the victim.

  1. Maintaining control and concealing the abuse

Once sexual abuse is occurring, abusers commonly use secrecy, blame, or threats to maintain control of the relationship and ensure that the victim does not talk to others about the abuse.

Examples of grooming behaviors

Grooming is a slow but deliberate process that can take place in a matter of minutes, over one conversation, or over long periods of time, which can make it difficult to detect. The key to preventing sexual grooming is to keep an eye out for predatory behavior such as the following:

  • Giving attention to a child
    • Paying special attention or preference to a child
    • Giving a child gifts
    • Offering special privileges to a child
    • Taking a child on a trip
    • Communicating with a child privately online
  • Breaking boundaries with a child
    • Bathing a child
    • Entering the room where a child is undressing or using the restroom
    • Touching a child in seemingly harmless ways, such as tickling, wrestling, or hugging
  • Engaging in sexually oriented behavior with a child
    • Discussing sexually explicit information with a child
    • Telling sexually explicit jokes with a child
    • Showing a child sexually explicit content

Online Sexual Grooming

Many perpetrators use the internet to groom their victims. Basically, the goal is to create trust and then quickly or slowly exploit that trust. A secondary goal is to use shame and fear to make sure the child stays quiet about how they’ve been exploited.

Common online platforms used by abusers for grooming include:

  • Social media networks
  • E-mail
  • Texting or messaging apps, such as WhatsApp
  • Online forums or chat rooms
  • Text, voice, or chat features in video games

Abusers often exploit the anonymity that technology offers. They can easily hide behind an unknown phone number, an e-mail address, an avatar, or an online profile.

Often, they create fake profiles and pose as somebody younger, of a different gender and/or sexual orientation in order to befriend the victim and gain their trust.

Signs of grooming

It can be difficult to tell if a child is being groomed – the signs aren’t always obvious and may be hidden. However, you may notice signs of grooming in the victim themselves, including the following:

  • Secrecy about what they are doing and whom they are doing it with – whether online or in person
  • Having a relationship or friendship with an older person
  • Having money or new things that they can’t or won’t explain
  • Underage drinking or drug use
  • Experiencing emotional changes, such as becoming more withdrawn or distressed
  • More time spent outside the home

Long-term effects of grooming

The impact of grooming can last a lifetime, no matter whether it happened in person, online or both. Some common effects of sexual grooming include:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Dissociation
  • Sleeping difficulties
  • Problems with sex
  • Self-harm
  • Eating disorders
  • Suicidal thoughts

How to prevent grooming

Understanding sexual grooming is an important first step to prevent child sexual abuse. However, there are active steps to take to keep a child safe from sexual grooming.

  • Talk to your child about consent and staying safe.Teaching children about healthy relationships and staying safe online can help prevent child sexual abuse.
  • Talk to your child about keeping secrets. Explaining that responsible individuals will not ask a child to keep secrets from their parents can help children understand healthy boundaries in relationships.
  • Actively listen to your child.Asking questions and avoiding judgemental comments can help create a safe environment in which your child feels more comfortable coming to you with things they are worried about or ashamed of.
  • Be selective about the information you share related to your child.Being mindful of what you share on social media about your child’s life limits the information that predators can use for their own gain.

Get help from our skilled and experienced child sexual abuse injury attorneys

With an established history of successfully advocating on behalf of survivors of sexual abuse, Andreozzi & Foote, PC offers you the resources of a highly-reputable, trusted law firm that is dedicated to protecting your right to compensation after injury caused by the harmful intentions and negligence of other parties.

From our Harrisburg, Pittsburgh, and Philadelphia offices, we serve clients across Pennsylvania and the United States.

If you or a loved one has been wronged, call us toll free at 866-311-8640 or contact us online to schedule a confidential consultation to discuss your case.

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Dax Rankine, 47, a physical education teacher at Sunset Palms Elementary School in suburban Boynton Beach, Florida, is facing allegations of grooming and grooming and raping a student between the second and fourth grades. The school’s investigation failed to lead to Rankine being removed from his teaching position, even after a separate investigation by school police, resulting in recommending charges of a felony sexual battery on a person younger than 12. State prosecutors declined to take the case, citing a lack of evidence.

Palm Beach County School Board allowed Rankine to return to the classroom.

The victim is filing a lawsuit accusing the Palm Beach County School Board of willfully ignoring Rankine’s criminal past. Including arrests for a hit-and-run crash, simple battery, driving under the influence, and drug possession. A criminal record that once caused the Florida Board of Education to deny his application for a teaching license. Palm Beach County School hired him anyway.

We want survivors to know they are not alone and have options.

How Can A Civil Lawsuit Help Victims Seek Justice For The Trauma They May Have Experienced By Dax Rankine?

A civil lawsuit can serve as a crucial avenue for victims seeking justice and redress from the trauma of sexual abuse, especially when organizations are implicated in the wrongdoing. By initiating legal action, survivors can hold both individual perpetrators and the institutions that may have enabled or failed to prevent the abuse accountable. Civil suits allow victims to seek compensation for the physical, emotional, and psychological harm they have endured.  Thus helping to alleviate the financial burdens associated with medical and therapeutic expenses.

Additionally, these lawsuits contribute to raising awareness about the prevalence of sexual abuse. Legal proceedings also offer survivors a platform to share their experiences, thereby challenging the culture of silence surrounding sexual abuse and empowering others to come forward.

Can I File A Lawsuit Against The School?

Yes. If you were a victim of Dax Rankine, you might have rights.

Andreozzi + Foote is a leading sexual abuse law firm in the nation. Please reach out to us today to discuss your possible legal rights.

866-753-5458

Info@vca.law

 

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Colleen Jo Matarico, 43, a teacher at John Burroughs Middle School in Los Angeles CA is facing allegations of grooming and sexually assaulting a student. Authorities believe there are more victims.

Charges are:

  • five counts of lewd acts with a minor,
  • two counts of lewd acts with a minor 14 or 15 years old and
  • one count of furnishing marijuana to a minor.

We want survivors to know they are not alone and have options.

How Can A Civil Lawsuit Help Victims Seek Justice For The Trauma They May Have Experienced By Colleen Jo Matarico?

A civil lawsuit can serve as a crucial avenue for victims seeking justice and redress from the trauma of sexual abuse, especially when organizations are implicated in the wrongdoing. By initiating legal action, survivors can hold both individual perpetrators and the institutions that may have enabled or failed to prevent the abuse accountable. Civil suits allow victims to seek compensation for the physical, emotional, and psychological harm they have endured.  Thus helping to alleviate the financial burdens associated with medical and therapeutic expenses.

Additionally, these lawsuits contribute to raising awareness about the prevalence of sexual abuse. Legal proceedings also offer survivors a platform to share their experiences, thereby challenging the culture of silence surrounding sexual abuse and empowering others to come forward.

Can I File A Lawsuit Against The School?

Yes. If you were a victim of Colleen Jo Matarico, you might have rights.

Andreozzi + Foote is a leading sexual abuse law firm in the nation. Contact us today to discuss your possible legal rights.

866-753-5458

Info@vca.law

 

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The recent decision not to prosecute Matthew Rutledge, a former Miss Hall’s School teacher in Massachusetts, has sparked outrage. Rutledge was accused of grooming and sexually abusing young girls while employed at the prestigious private school. The lack of charges against him, despite serious allegations, highlights the ongoing challenges of holding sexual predators accountable—particularly when grooming is a key element of their crimes.

The Role of Grooming in Sexual Abuse Cases

Grooming is a manipulative process by which predators build trust and emotional connections with minors, often in an attempt to normalize inappropriate behavior and sexual exploitation. This form of psychological manipulation allows abusers to blur the lines between acceptable and exploitative actions, making it difficult for victims to recognize they are being abused until it’s too late. In Rutledge’s case, the accusations suggest a clear pattern of grooming behavior, yet the Berkshire District Attorney’s Office has decided not to pursue charges, citing insufficient evidence under Massachusetts law.

Age of Consent and Legal Protections

The age of consent is the legally defined age at which a person is considered capable of consenting to sexual activity. In Massachusetts, the age of consent is 16. However, state law also includes specific provisions for situations where an individual in a position of authority, such as a teacher, abuses their power to engage in sexual conduct with minors.

Rutledge will not be prosecuted, leaving many to wonder whether the legal system adequately addresses the complexities of grooming and power dynamics in these cases.

How Age of Consent Laws Vary Across the Country

Age of consent laws vary significantly from state to state, ranging from 16 to 18 years old. In some states, “close-in-age exemptions” or “Romeo and Juliet” laws protect younger individuals from being criminally prosecuted if both parties are close in age and the relationship is consensual. However, when the accused is in a position of power, as Rutledge was, these exemptions should not apply.

In states like California, New York, and Pennsylvania, laws are stricter when it comes to individuals in authority, with clear penalties for those who abuse their position to exploit minors. Massachusetts’ age of consent laws fall short when grooming and position of authority are involved.

District Attorney’s Decision Raises Alarms

The Berkshire District Attorney’s decision not to prosecute Rutledge demonstrates a lack of understanding of power dynamics and consent. Power dynamics between a teacher and student disallow the ability to consent. This is especially dangerous in private schools, where teachers influence their students considerably.

The failure to pursue charges in this case represents a missed opportunity to hold an alleged predator accountable. It highlights the need for legal reforms to address grooming better.

Legal Reforms to Address Gaps in MA Law

The Rutledge case underscores the urgent need for reforms that acknowledge the long-term psychological manipulation that predators employ. States should adopt stricter laws recognizing grooming as a standalone criminal offense, not just a precursor to physical abuse.

MA Bills in the 2023-2024 Session to prevent child sexual abuse in our schools, youth organizations, and communities.

These bills would: 

  • Require education about child sexual abuse prevention for all schools and youth organizations and require them to adopt prevention policies;
  • Strengthen the screening of applicants for positions in schools to identify any past sexual misconduct;
  • Prohibit known offenders from securing a position in another school;
  • Close the “age of consent loophole.”
  • Increase penalties for educator-specific sexual misconduct and for persons in positions of authority.

The disturbing allegations against Matthew Rutledge are a stark reminder that sexual abuse can take many forms. Grooming is a dangerous tool that predators use to exploit vulnerable children. The decision not to prosecute Rutledge demonstrates that the law still struggles to accept this reality.

If Matthew Rutledge has impacted you and you seek justice, contact us. 1-866-753-5458

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A new school year is upon us, it’s an important time for parents to have critical conversations with their children about safety, particularly the risks of sexual abuse and exploitation. According to the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN), an estimated 60,000 children in the U.S. are sexually abused each year. Alarmingly, 34% of these victims are under the age of 12, and 66% are between the ages of 12 and 17.

Parents should be having conversations around reinforcing safety, consent, and establishing boundaries around online activities. Parents should also be actively monitoring children’s online activities, checking their phones, computers and video games regularly, and staying informed about who they are interacting with.

The Reality of Online Sexual Abuse

The statistics highlight a sobering reality: child sexual abuse often involves individuals who are close to the victim. According to RAINN only 7% of offenders are strangers, while 59% are known to the family, such as family friends, and 34% are relatives. This underscores the need for parents to be vigilant, not just about strangers but also about those within their child’s circle.

In today’s digital age, it’s crucial for parents to stay ahead of their tech-savvy children. Parents should inspect their child’s phone frequently and unexpectedly to ensure they aren’t hiding anything inappropriate. Understanding the hidden risks within social media and mobile devices is key to preventing your child from becoming a victim of exploitation.

Know the Lingo for Online Safety

Parents should be aware of common acronyms used online, such as:

  • ASL – Age, Sex, Location
  • CD9 – Parents aren’t around
  • GNGR – Get naked right now
  • GNOC – Get naked on camera
  • LMIRL – Let’s meet in real life
  • NP4NP – Naked picture for naked picture
  • TDTM – Talk dirty to me

Video Games and Online Safety

Online video games also pose significant risks that parents need to be aware of. Many games feature chat functions and online communities where predators can easily interact with young players, often under the guise of friendship or gaming camaraderie. These interactions can lead to grooming, cyberbullying, or exposure to inappropriate content. Additionally, some games encourage in-game purchases, which can be exploited by scammers targeting unsuspecting children. To protect their children, parents should monitor the games their kids are playing, set clear boundaries around online interactions, and regularly review chat logs and friend lists to ensure their child’s safety.

Protecting Children and Others

This awareness is not only about protecting children from others but also from their own actions.  It’s easy for children to fall prey to peer pressure and engage in these acts themsevels. As a result, 66% of child sexual abuse victims are between the ages of 12 and 17. Parents staying engaged and informed helps children navigate the complex and often dangerous online world.

The start of a new school year offers a valuable opportunity for parents to:

  • refresh safety protocols,
  • deepen trust,
  • and ensure that their children are equipped to recognize and report any signs of abuse.

By staying proactive and informed, parents are protecting their children from the dangers of sexual abuse and exploitation.

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What are Cyber Crimes?

The internet has brought us many amazing things and done wonders in making the world feel smaller. Whether you’re getting reacquainted with old high school friends, finding long-lost family members, or meeting new friends with new hobbies, the internet makes it so much easier to socialize.

For all of the good, there is some bad. Because of how easy it is to access the internet, whether it be from the phone in your pocket or the family computer in your living room, it is almost impossible not to be influenced by the internet on a daily basis.

When you hear about cyber crimes, you probably think about things like fraud, theft of intellectual property, identity theft, invasion of privacy, and the like. But in this modern age of constant internet exposure, how often do you think about nefarious characters preying on you or your children and things like sexual harassment on the internet?

This isn’t Sexual Harassment Is It?

When thinking about sexual harassment, we often think of it happening in person. Sexual harassment includes things like unwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.

It is important to remember that sexual harassment can be physical, but it can also never cross over to physical touch. Sexual comments can count as sexual harassment.

But what about when we’re online? What counts as sexual harassment when we are on our phones and computers?

Here are a few examples of cyber sexual harassment as defined by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center:

  • Sending someone unwelcome communication about sex.
  • Sending someone unwelcome hateful comments based on sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation.
  • Sending unwanted requests for nude photos or videos to anyone.
  • Someone recording themselves doing sexual acts without the consent of everyone involved and sharing it on the internet.
  • Sharing private images or videos without the consent of all who appear in the recorded materials. This can include “revenge porn,” where a former partner shares explicit materials without the consent of their former partner.
  • Sharing pornography in spaces where not everyone has consented to seeing such materials.
  • Grooming children to enable their sexual abuse both online and offline.

How Can You Protect Yourself From Online Sexual Harassment?

It is unfortunate that in this day and age, we still have to take extra precautions when doing something as simple as logging onto social media. Did you know that internet providers and social media platforms are not liable for the content that third parties use their platforms to post. This means that even if you have solid proof that someone used a certain platform to harass you, that platform isn’t under a legal obligation to protect you.

  • If the platforms we use aren’t going to protect us, then what are some things we can do to protect ourselves?
  • Here are a few measures you can take in an attempt to stay safe while online:
  • Block people who send you unwanted sexual content.
  • Report the harassment to the social media platform or the website where the harassment occurred.
  • If someone posts images of you on social media or another website without your consent, you can request that the images be removed.
  • If someone is threatening you with physical harm, if you don’t engage in sexual activities, you may want to report the threats to law enforcement.

To further protect yourself, you should also take screen captures of all pertinent evidence. If you do not know how to take screen captures using your phone, you can easily use a search engine to find out how to do so with your particular phone model. 

If you are using Windows you can press the Windows key + Print Screen key to take a screen capture on your PC.

If you are using a Mac, you can press the Shift key + Command Key + the 3 key to take a screen capture.

This evidence can be useful for criminal legal action as well as civil legal action.

What is Online Predatory Behavior?

Online predatory behavior is the act of using the internet to seek out vulnerable people to sexually exploit or abuse. While the victims of online predators tend to be children and teens, people of any age, race, gender, and sexual orientation can be the victims of online predators.

Predators can use social media, chatrooms, online games, and message boards to seek out their victims. The predator may push their victim to send explicit content, interact in a sexual manner, or even meet in person, where the abuse can continue and often worsen.

Some signs of an online predator may include:

  • Using a fake account with a fake name and pictures.
  • Lying about their age, often saying they are the same age as their intended victim.
  • Requesting private chats where they seek out more personal information often makes their victim feel special.

What Can You Do Against Online Predators and Cyber Sexual Harassment?

Victims of online predators and cyber sexual harassment can often feel powerless. Online abusers use the veil of anonymity to prey on their victims or to harass someone, leaving their victims feeling afraid and alone.

If you are the victim of online harassment or predatory behavior, the first thing you should do is collect evidence, such as user names, photos, and screencaps of the illicit actions.

Then, you should report the interaction to local law enforcement, giving them all of the evidence you have collected.

Most importantly, you should contact the experienced lawyers at Andreozzi + Foote to schedule your free, confidential consultation.

Our team is well-versed regarding online sexual harassment and predators. By Calling 866-311-8640, you can put the right foot forward in protecting yourself and your loved ones and bringing your abuser to justice!